DEFENSIVE INTERESTS

A defensive interest or DInterest is an interest held by a neurodivergent person that they feel particularly protective of. This prevents them from interacting with community spaces entirely, as seeing others interact with that interest makes them feel threatened, insignificant and/or generally nervous.Defensive interests often overlap with special interests and hyperfixations, but this isn't a rule! A person with one defensive interest may like to share their other interests just fine!Defensive interests are not always media or fandom related. They can relate to creative hobbies, locations and objects.

UPDATED 11/03/22!

1. DEFENSIVE INTERESTS ARE:

Uncontrollable. You don't choose to have them, and may honestly prefer if you didn't. You may experience physical symptoms of recoil or anxiety when your DInterest is triggered.Irritating and obstructive to have. Seeing art, photos, conversation, or even forum avatars that feature elements from your defensive interest startles you! You might feel jealous where you usually wouldn't, or sad for seemingly no reason.Upsetting. You may feel as if you are being cruel or ridiculous for setting boundaries over your interest. Having your DInterest triggered might cause worth issues or anxiety attacks.Stressful. Community spaces may feel inaccessible to you as you are convinced others are going to try and one-up your knowledge, knock you down or otherwise prove you to be wrong or inferior. You feel under threat around other fans.Confusing. You may feel as if your interest has "betrayed" you - that it can't be as special to you when other people have had the same experiences or drawn the same conclusions.Different for everyone! They can have different causes, different symptoms, and are generally experienced in a variety of ways. For more information, scroll to the bottom of this page!Adaptable! With work, therapy, and clear discussions of boundaries, you can begin to invite friends and family into your defensive interest and ease the stress of interaction.

2. DEFENSIVE INTERESTS ARE NOT:

Possessive or controlling. The issue is held solely within yourself, not the people that make you uncomfortable, and you have no desire to stop other fans from enjoying your interest. You simply don't want to see it first-hand.An excuse to gatekeep fandom or prevent others from interacting with your interests in their own time. If you do this, you should stop.A special label. It is not something to crown yourself with for the sake of being antisocial or feeling superior to others.Stronger or more valid than other interests. Despite how you may feel, your defensive interests are not stronger than the special interests or hyperfixations of others. They simply work differently on an interactive level.Childish. Like many symptoms of ADHD, autism and other neurodivergences, they are simply stigmatized for feeling rude and silly to people who do not experience them.

3. HOW DEFENSIVE INTERESTS DEVELOP

Due to the symptom rarely being discussed, it's hard to pin down what exactly causes something to become a defensive interest over a special interest or hyperfixation. However, trauma is a likely component as many people have found great comfort or escapism in their DInterest, using it to cope with a real-world problem. Effectively, the interest becomes so important to the person's wellbeing that they can't comprehend that other people could like it in the same way.Similarly, a person might be hyper-empathetic to their interests and/or the interests of others. They feel as though their interests belong to them, and that other people have 'claimed' their own interests as well. Boundaries that other people don't notice are being overstepped en masse, and that is startling to see.Some people with defensive interests have also said they find a sense of identity in their DInterest, and when this is not recognized to be as important as they feel it is, it can bring a sense of panic. They might be the "Fire Emblem guy" in their friend group, but in the Fire Emblem fandom, this is a moot point.A recurring theme is also problems found within the interest's fandom or community. If a community is toxic or traumatizing to interact with, a person might latch onto their interest tightly and feel less safe in sharing it with others.A final element may be popularity. Some defensive interests are things with smaller fandoms, where content is spread thin or concentrated only in certain corners of the internet. It is possible that higher exposure to an interest prevents it from becoming a defensive interest, as it feels less legitimate to "own" something that is widespread.

4. HOW TO INTERACT WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE DEFENSIVE INTERESTS

Communicate! Ask them about their boundaries and make sure to follow them to the best of your ability. As a general rule, do not send them content without their permission. Do not trivialise or make jokes about the existence of their defensive interest unless you're certain they will find it as funny as you do.Some good questions to ask:
If I get into [interest], can I tell you about it?
Can I show you my [interest] art?
Do you want to talk about [interest]?Some things you shouldn't say:
I got into [interest] because of you!
Look at this [interest] fanart I found!
I was in the [interest] fandom ages ago!Often, those with defensive interests still love to share information and content of their own - so let them! Like with any person's passions, the best thing to do is to listen and talk with them naturally rather than following a strict standard.If they invite you to watch/play/interact with their interest with them, consider that a victory! They trust you and have deemed you safe to share with.The first of many successes, I'm sure!

5. ANONYMOUS TESTIMONIALS FROM PEOPLE WITH DEFENSIVE INTERESTS

"It's sort of like the interest version of, 'I can't believe my cat is letting you pet its tummy. I'm getting so very jealous, even though it's still my cat.'""My defensive interest is actually my own creative work. Like, I made this thing, I put my soul into it, but I'm so scared to share it because people might take it from me. It won't be mine anymore.""It's not like I'm grossed out or upset. It just gives me an adrenaline rush. My heartrate spikes as if I'm seeing something I'm not supposed to, because I'm not seeing it in a familiar space.""Hyperempathy definitely plays a part. To me, my interests are more like friends or personality traits rather than content that I consume. I communicate with them and interact with them in ways that mean a lot to me, so seeing someone do the same is like, 'Why are you here? This is our space.'""They just make me think like, humans aren't supposed to interact with millions of people at once. It's a very internet-focused thing for me, because my interest is known as a part of me to the people around me. But online, I'm just another face in a crowd, and suddenly all my love and appreciation doesn't really mean anything.""Depending on how much I like the interest, seeing content of it can incite either a minor shock or full blown anxiety and worth issues. It's so hard to put into words, because it's not like it actually makes sense. It just happens.""It's an annoying mixture of things. It's not wanting to talk about your interest with strangers, but feeling obligated to do so to prove that you're a real fan. So everyone knows that I like this thing, because that's super important for some reason.""I feel hesitant to share my interests with my friends. What it comes down to is so stupid like, 'I have a very specific view of how this thing is and I’m scared you will think otherwise and will hate me because I see it differently.' I don't understand it, but sometimes it gets bad enough for me to completely lose interest in something, which sucks a lot.""I have a defensive interest because of trauma, and it's hard to bring up, because people just assume you're gatekeeping. They tell you to grow up and be normal, as if it's any different to having a complicated trigger.""It feels better when I invite my friends into my interest, rather than them getting into it without me. Like, I'm welcoming them into my house instead of them just walking in unannounced."